What if Questions Were the Answer?

Dear Reader,

As a counselor and a teacher, I know the value and importance of asking the right type of questions.  In essence, being intentional has value.  The questions we ask ourselves, often, guide our focus, critical thinking and problem solving.

I have learned that during difficult times, we have an inclination to shift to survival mode, which is typically appropriate and adaptive depending on circumstances and even past experiences.  This survival lens may influence our perspective and mindset.

It is important to keep in mind that if we have experienced any form of trauma, then there are additional layers that need to be considered besides shifting our mindset.  In fact, some of those layers include feeling safe, type of support system, and resources, among many more.

My intention is to invite a possible way of reframing some of our internal dialogue in spite of adversity.  The purpose of this is to help us change our perspective and view things in a way that may be more helpful than unhelpful.

Michael Beckwith explains that, “During difficult times, we often ask ourselves disempowering questions instead of empowering questions.”  This is often true and the case.  It actually is difficult to even consider a more empowering solution or possibility.  There is a reason for that.

While attending Level 1 Theraplay training, our instructor explained, “when trauma happens the first thing that leaves is joy.” This is important because it reframes how difficulties and adversities can impact our ability to be present and feel safe which are essential to feel joy. 

In fact, it’s tempting and very common to focus on everything that is going wrong, mistakes, errors, or setbacks.  Hence, making it very difficult to “think or stay positive.”