Category: <span>Confidence</span>

Why It’s Difficult to Defend Ourselves

What is learned hopelessness, how to identify it and what to do?

We have all been able to observe a little dog, a kitten, or perhaps a little deer, that through a process of life reaches helplessness.

The defenselessness is characterized because they do not defend themselves, do not avoid any negative stimulus, or some attack, which in normal circumstances would cause the escape, defense or counterattack.

We have seen that, despite being subjected to kicks, blows, lack of food, they only bend their heads, shrink and allow this situation to continue.

The question is: Why don’t they run away, why don’t they attack back, when instinctively this should be the answer? It is indeed a very particular phenomenon.

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What if Questions Were the Answer?

Dear Reader,

As a counselor and a teacher, I know the value and importance of asking the right type of questions.  In essence, being intentional has value.  The questions we ask ourselves, often, guide our focus, critical thinking and problem solving.

I have learned that during difficult times, we have an inclination to shift to survival mode, which is typically appropriate and adaptive depending on circumstances and even past experiences.  This survival lens may influence our perspective and mindset.

It is important to keep in mind that if we have experienced any form of trauma, then there are additional layers that need to be considered besides shifting our mindset.  In fact, some of those layers include feeling safe, type of support system, and resources, among many more.

My intention is to invite a possible way of reframing some of our internal dialogue in spite of adversity.  The purpose of this is to help us change our perspective and view things in a way that may be more helpful than unhelpful.

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