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Adverse Childhood Experiences Trauma • • By Stepp, Ph.D., LPC, LCCC, CART, CGSC 0 Comments

Fibromyalgia and Mental Health

What is Fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is a term used and suffered by many but understood by the few. It is a chronic disease that many professionals do not really understand or even believe is an illness.

According to the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculosckeletal and Skin Diseases (NIAMS, 2021), fibromyalgia is a chronic long lasting disorder that creates widespread pain and tenderness. It also causes fatigue, sleep disturbances, and sensitivity to pain. Scientists do not really know why people get fibromyalgia and unfortunately there is not a cure (NIAMS, 2021).

Fibromyalgia is most commonly seen amongst middle aged women, however, further studies have identified fibromyalgia amongst men and people from all ages (NIAMS, 2021).

Other studies have also identified it through genetic dispositions and those with no familial history of fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is an enigma within the medical sciences and its young discovery has not given researchers opportunity for full studies and exploration on the subject. According to Dellwo (2022) and NIAMS (2021) common symptoms of fibromyalgia include,

  • Sleep difficulties
  • Exhaustion/fatigue
  • Depression/anxiety
  • Brain fog
  • Memory issues
  • Concentration issues
  • Headaches
  • Ringling or numbness in hands and feet
  • Pain in face or jaw (at times TMJ is diagnosed)
  • Abdominal pain (like menstrual cramps)
  • Bloating
  • Constipation
  • Chronic widespread pain throughout the body or pain in multiple places at once in the body
    • Often felt in the arms legs, head, chest abdomen, back and buttocks
    • Described usually as aching, burning, throbbing or needle sensations
  • Heightened sensitivity to light, noise, odors, and temperatures
  • Muscle and joint stiffness
  • Allodynia (skin sensitivity or pain usually with clothes or touch)

The symptoms can be overwhelming alongside with the journey of getting the proper diagnosis. Hence why mental health for people with fibromyalgia, depletes. Fibromyalgia is only a little more than 30 years old from its discovery and identification.

Because it has not been that long since its finding, many doctors and medical personnel do not believe it exists or place importance on the detriment it has on the people who suffer from it.

Fibromyalgia and mental health

When getting diagnosed with fibromyalgia, it can be a tedious, frustrating journey. Not only are you having to go from doctor to doctor explaining how you feel, the symptoms you are having, but having to undergo every physical, blood, and neurological test doctors can think of only to say, “All tests came back negative, you are fine.”

This creates feelings of disappointment and frustration with not only the symptoms that you are feeling, but with the medical sciences that are supposed to help, not dismiss. You begin to think it is all in your head and doctors start override your case and become unempathetic as well as blaming you for not being better at your own health. Comments such as, “It’s your weight,” “you’re not exercising enough,” “you’re not eating right,” etc… create deterioration in your mental health.

According to Dellwo (2022) 27% through 58% of people with fibromyalgia report having feelings of hopelessness, depression, and thoughts of suicide. This is due to factors of being dismissed, difficulty managing symptoms, and there not being a cure.

Fibromyalgia however, has also been linked to many other forms of mental health disorders including anxiety, depression, and trauma (Johnson et al., 2006).

Trauma is a change in our psychophysiological chemistry. Trauma affects how the chemical and anatomy of our brain function (Johnson et al., 2006). Trauma and prolonged stress in adulthood influences brain modulatory circuit of both pain and emotions (Romeo et al., 2022).

It is important to also understand that when high forms of trauma—or prolonged trauma such as childhood ongoing trauma—dissociation (separation from consciousness) can occur. Some dissociative disorders include psychoform (psychological separation from consciousness) and somatoform (body dysfunctions).

Researchers have found high levels of both these forms of dissociative disorder symptoms with people who have rheumatic disorders and medical unexplained disorders (Romeo et al., 2022). In a study conducted by Romeo and colleagues (2022), they found high levels of psychoform and somatoform dissociation with fibromyalgia and a relational connection between childhood and prolonged trauma.

In other words, prolonged, cumulative, and childhood trauma affects the brain chemistry in which changes the ability for the brain to process pain, possibly creating fibromyalgia. However, it’s important to realize this does not mean “it’s all in your head”. It is a true and valid illness that was created by chemical changes in our brain by trauma in which we were exposed to. The pain is real, the symptoms are real, the suffering is real.

Ways to cope.  

Coping with fibromyalgia is hard.

It is not only a physiological coping strategy, it’s also a psychological, spiritual, and social support form of coping.

It takes motivation, determination, and self-care to be able to feel functional, FUNCTIONAL, when managing fibromyalgia. Sometimes to world around us does not understand and it is hard for them to empathize.

However, it starts with our own self-empathy. When we learn to empathize with our symptoms and how our body is managing stressors, and past traumas, we learn to appreciate the strength we generate throughout our every day lives that we wake up. Other important forms of coping techniques include,

  • Exercise
  • Stretching
  • Massages
  • Acupuncture
  • Physical therapy
  • Chiropractic exercises
  • Hobbies
  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Healthy eating
  • Educating self on symptoms
  • Swimming/water aerobic exercise (my personal favorite)
  • Anything that makes you feel whole, alive, strong.

As someone who has had to cope living with fibromyalgia, I realized it is a journey. It is a journey with the pain, learning the struggle, empathizing with myself, determination to continue, hope that I will feel better, strength that I have gained, and resilience.

The more I learned about my pain, the more I was able to comprehend and empathize with myself and fall in love with my strength to manage the everyday pain and adjustments of fibromyalgia.

If you would like to learn more about our practice and different mental health counselors please contact (915) 209-1234 for more information.

 

 

References

Dellwo, A. (2022, October 19). The 7 types of fibromyalgia pain. Verywell Health.  https://www.verywellhealth.com/seven-types-of-fibromyalgia-pain-716138#toc-hyperalgesia

Johnson, L., Zautra, A. J., & Davis, M. C. (2006). The role of illness uncertainty on coping with fibromyalgia symptoms. Healthy Psychology, 25(6), 696-703. Doi: 10.1037/0278-6133.25.6.696.

NIAMS. (2021, June). Fibromyalgia. National Institutes of Health.https://www.niams.nih.gov/health-topics/fibromyalgia#:~:text=Fibromyalgia%20is%20a%20chronic%20(long,a%20heightened%20sensitivity%20to%20pain.

Romeo, A., Tesio. V., Ghiggia, A., Di Tella, M., Geminiani, G. C., Farina, B., & Castelli, L.             (2022). Traumatic experiences and somatoform dissociative in women with fibromyalgia. Psychological trauma: Theory, Research, Practice and Policy, 14(1), 116-123.             https://doi.org/10.1037/tra0000907

 

 

 

 

 

 

Communication Relationships Self-improvement By Zoe Olivo, MA, LPC-A Supervised by Guillermo Castañeda, LPC-S 0 Comments

Setting Effective Boundaries

Most people know the story of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, and often praise the book as it deals with sharing and selflessness. The story covers a tree that is constantly providing for a little boy throughout his life, from small things like giving him leaves to make a crown, to inviting him to cut down the tree to make a boat. The tree continuously gives to the boy, even when there’s nothing left of her. While this can be a sweet story from the lens of sharing and selflessness, it also tells of the dangers of lacking boundaries. There is nothing left of the tree besides a stump, which the boy, now an elderly man, sits.

We can give and give until there’s nothing left of us, stating that it’s because we love others and only want to be of service. However, that’s not a sustainable and healthy way of living. When we give so much of ourselves, there’s barely anything left of us to continue giving at later points in time. It’s an exhaustive way of living.

So, why am I telling you about a book written for preschoolers?

Because it demonstrates the need for effective boundaries today.

Before we delve into the definition of boundaries, let’s examine whether you may be needing effective boundaries.

Do you often say yes to others when you would like to say no?

Do you spread yourself thin with responsibilities that your health and well-being start to suffer?

Do you experience anger, self-blame, and burnout as you struggle with having your needs met and respected?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you may be in need of establishing effective boundaries.

So, what are boundaries?

Boundaries are the guidelines in which we tell others and ourselves how we would like to be treated. They can involve our holistic well-being, our personal space, our values and beliefs, work responsibilities, our time and energy, just to name a few. Boundaries demonstrate respect for ourselves and others. They are important because they protect our energy and prevent burnout and exhaustion. Without effective boundaries, we are open to people who will take advantage, manipulate, and coerce us. Upholding boundaries in our relationships demonstrates what behaviors we expect from others without controlling them. It allows for respect and understanding that we are more than the role we fulfill in that relationship and setting.

Some examples of boundaries include:

  • Saying no to someone because you don’t want to engage in an uncomfortable activity.
  • Suggesting a different time to talk about a certain topic when both people have calmed down enough to speak respectfully to one another.
  • Turning down overtime at work when you’ve been feeling overworked.
  • Putting your private and personal items in a locked drawer in your bedroom.
  • Setting up a cut-off time for answering messages from work.
  • These boundaries may be difficult to enforce when we are conditioned to think it’s selfish.

What is selfishness?

Selfishness is described as the prioritization of one’s life and pleasure above all others’ needs and considerations. Someone is selfish when they consistently act in their own interests across every situation and regardless of the impact to others. While boundaries do consist of prioritizing ourselves and our needs, we do not go to the extent of disregarding others. Additionally, boundaries are different in rigidity and consideration than selfishness. You can alter the boundaries to best fit the situation, including making them more flexible if the considerations of the situation need to be prioritized more. There is nothing inherently selfish about wanting to be comfortable, safe, and alive. Boundaries enable this possibility.

It’s understandable to feel selfish when setting boundaries due to the cultural importance of selflessness. We care about others and want to avoid disrupting harmony with all of our relationships. It may feel like you’re betraying the trust and commitment that others have placed on you or create an awkward situation where letting people down is a possibility. While these are all important to be aware of, it is healthy to attend to yourself when necessary. Generosity and compassion are fantastic qualities to cultivate in ourselves, but any situation requires balance to be healthy. Again, boundaries allow for balance to be cultivated.

There are a few considerations to be mindful of when setting boundaries.

  1. Keep in mind that setting boundaries depends on the uniqueness of the person, situation, and setting. There will need to be a balance of rigidity and flexibility based on what that context needs. For some contexts there may need to be very rigid boundaries, and others may need more flexible boundaries. It is important to reflect and reassess your boundaries periodically, to ensure it fits the context.
  2. There might also be a surprise reaction in some settings if those people have never had boundaries in that setting before. Beware of those who may attempt to manipulate you to feel guilty about setting those boundaries. Embrace those that see the boundary setting as an opportunity to understand more of you and the collective responsibility you hold.
  3. We want to use empathy and sensitivity when communicating our boundaries. Be cautious to avoid using aggression in boundary setting. Some people have the misconception that setting boundaries involves getting into arguments and demonstrating intimidating behaviors to be firm when it is the practice of allowing only respectful interactions in that context.

It is not an easy process to set effective boundaries when dealing with these considerations; however, it becomes easier when we recognize our worth and the respect we deserve. Boundaries are not going to keep other people happy, but they will protect your well-being. Think of setting boundaries more as strengthening our relationships with others instead of building walls to keep others out.

So now that we’ve covered the intricacies of working with boundaries, how do we begin to set them?

  1. Check-in with your body using a body scan. Our bodies are very intuitive with informing us how feel emotionally and somatically about a person, situation, or setting.
    1. Does spending time in this setting, situation, or with this person drain you or fill you with energy?
    2. What emotions do you experience when in these contexts?
  2. Practice being in the present using mindfulness exercises. This allows your body to connect with your mind.
    1. Breathing exercises and meditations are good examples of mindfulness.
  3. Acknowledge your needs and attend to them. Assess your rights and determine which ones are not being respected.
    1. What does your body need at the moment? Does it need space? Food? Rest?
    2. Do you feel that you can say no without feeling guilty? Do you feel that you are treated with respect? Do you feel that you are allowed to not meet the unreasonable expectations of yourself created by others?
  4. Communicate your needs clearly in the form of a boundary.
    1. “I felt (emotion) when (action that was performed). Moving forward, I need (replacement action).” This is a good template to use when communicating your needs. Be cautious of placing blame, focus completely on the action and not on the person who acted.
    2. Assertive language is nonnegotiable and prevents miscommunication.
    3. Remember that “no” is a complete sentence without providing an explanation.
  5. Reach out for support, if needed.
    1. Delegate responsibilities if we are overwhelmed with what we’ve taken on.
    2. Seek out therapy if the burnout and mental exhaustion is overwhelming to handle or if you’re experiencing difficulties with setting or asserting boundaries.
    3. Rely on your support system to discuss the impact of the burden of responsibility.

One last thought is that everyone is deserving of respect and understanding of their personal space and tolerance. Including you.

If you would like to reach out to one of our mental health counselors for assistance in setting boundaries, please contact (915) 209-1234 for more information.

References

Chesak, J. (2018, December 10). The no BS guide to protecting your emotional space. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/set-boundaries

Domelle, A. (2019, January 10). How to set boundaries in relationships without feeling selfish. Medium. https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-to-set-boundaries-in-relationships-without-feeling-selfish-c95e26d8b3ed

The Keely Group. (n.d.). Is setting boundaries selfish? Or is it healthy? The Keely Group Online Therapy. https://www.onlinetherapynyc.com/blog/is-setting-boundaries-selfish-or-is-it-healthy

Mort, S. (2021, May 16). Are boundaries selfish? The answer is more complicated than you think. Dr Soph. https://drsoph.com/blog/are-boundaries-selfish-or-controlling

Self-Care Sleep Hygiene By Karime Aziz, MS, LPC-Associate Supervised by Guillermo Castañeda, LPC-S 0 Comments

How Sleep Impacts Mental Health

Sleeping too much or too little?

Is your sleep being interrupted or you simply cannot stay asleep? At some point we all have experienced what it is like to not get a good night’s rest. This can be apparent during the day in many different ways, such as: being irritable or moody; having difficulty concentrating, remembering things, learning, or even completing daily tasks.

Why sleep is important? What happens during sleep?

Adults need about 7-9 hours of sleep. During sleep, the brain goes through 5 stages of sleep. 4 stages are non-rapid eye movement sleep and the last is rapid eye movement (REM) sleep.

It begins with the first stage when you are drifting off to sleep. Here, your brain produces alpha and theta waves which soothe you into relaxation and lasts about 5-10 minutes.

During the second stage, brain waves begin to increase drastically, lasting about 20 minutes. This stage is ideal for waking up from a nap, since it will make you feel energized and not groggy.

In stage three and four, also known as deep sleep, the brain begins to produce delta waves. During this stage, the brain undergoes memory processing, growth, and muscle repair.

During the fifth stage, or REM sleep, there is an increase in eye movement. Dreams occur during this stage. The brain processes emotional and learning information from the day and stores important items in long term memory while discarding unwanted information. This stage usually occurs about 5 to 6 times throughout the night.

How can he lack of sleep can affect mental health?

It is important for the brain to go through the five stages of sleep in order to regenerate, process, and filter information. When this process is interrupted or unfulfilled, connections within the brain become severed, impacting your thought processes, mood, and energy.

A mental health problem can affect sleep and in turn, lack of sleep can worsen symptoms due to a mental health problem.

Anxiety disorders can make falling asleep difficult due to the constant hyperarousal from worry or fear.

Depression can lead one to sleep too much, and even experience insomnia.

With bipolar disorder, sleep patterns are constantly changing due to mood change resulting in either getting too much sleep or too little.

Trauma can disrupt the sleep cycle by experiencing flashbacks and night terrors.

Even side effects of medication may also affect your sleep.

It is very important to be able to identify what may be impairing your sleep cycle to determine how to properly improve it.

 Ways to improve sleep

Here are some ways you can start improving your sleep:

1. Environment- Adjust your area to create a relaxing environment by considering temperature, lighting, and noise.

2. Exercise- 10-30 minutes of exercise during the day can improve your sleep.

3. Exposure to natural light- Our bodies have a natural sleep-wake cycle that repeats every 24 hours. Having an exposure to sunlight can help your body maintain this sleep cycle.

4. Avoid screen time- Exposure to screens and artificial light can alter your sleep cycle and stimulate your brain, making it more difficult to wind down.

5. Avoid stimulants- This can include alcohol, caffeine and tobacco.

6. Consistency- Creating a routine such as going to bed and waking up at the same time, reading, meditating, etc., can help your body determine when it is time to start unwinding.

Achieving the five stages of sleep is a natural process that needs to occur in order for us to be able to feel well rested, focused, emotionally stable and be able to properly function throughout the day.

It is important for our brain to have the time to restore, although it may be a challenge knowing that symptoms of some mental health problems may hinder this process.

If this is something that resonates with you or you simply want more information, please feel free to contact our office.

-Karime Aziz, MS, LPC, Associate Supervised by Guillermo Castañeda, LPC-S

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, September 13). Tips for better sleep. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved November 10, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html

Mental health and sleep. Sleep Foundation. (2022, November 4). Retrieved November 10, 2022, from https://www.sleepfoundation.org/mental-health

YouTube. (2020). How sleep affects your emotions | Sleeping with Science, a TED series. Retrieved November 10, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F8wFkScnME.

Growth Individual Therapy Self-improvement • By Zuzanna Gromulska, MS, LPC-Associate Supervised by Guillermo Castañeda, LPC-S 0 Comments

Stages of Change in Therapy – how understanding of ourselves helps us progress

When clients first come to therapy, they often wonder: “What do I want to gain from this? How can I get help if I don’t even understand what’s bothering me?”.

Maybe they tried therapy before and it “didn’t click” or they lost motivation, or simply couldn’t find time to commit to weekly sessions. What they DO know is they need help, they just need to find out what to do.

These feelings are very common when facing a big step such as going to therapy. The understanding of our motivation is one of the essential parts of getting better – not only knowing what the issue is – also the knowing why I want to change.

What to expect from the process of change?

How fast can I move forward?

What if I fail?

Being prepared will make us more confident and less anxious about the changes and will let us navigate the process in a more mindful way.

The Stages of Change or The Transtheoretical Model of Change is a clinical theory developed in the 1970’s by James Prochaska of the University of Rhode Island and Carlo Di Clemente.

The stages can be best explained as interrelated steps we go through with our thoughts and emotions when we are confronted with a difficult situation that needs changing.

The concept can be applied to anything from quitting drinking to breaking up an unhealthy relationship to healing from grief after losing a loved one. The stages follow an order and each of them has a purpose in creating change. They also occur gradually – from initial resistance and denial, a commitment and progression is created, and relapse is an expected part of the process.

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Mental Health Stress By Jazmine Silva, MS, LPC, RPT 0 Comments

When the Caregiver Needs Inner-Care

Dear Reader,

 As a provider, I have come to understand the importance of providing care to others.  In many walks of life, we all engage in providing care in one form or another.

Caregiving is a benevolent and altruistic practice.  Caregiving can range from providing care to children and adults, helping meet the needs of others, or providing support.

Caregiving has many forms, variations, and levels of depth.  Some individuals require more support and others need less.  Every individual and situation is unique to its circumstances and necessities.  In some cases, there are seasons where individuals may need more or less from us.

Normally, when inquiring about why caregivers engage in such practice, it derives from values such as kindness, a deep sense of contribution, and a desire to help others.

However, what happens when the role of caregiving becomes all-consuming or encompassing?

In some cases, the caregiver may over-function, overwork, over give, and hurt. 

Dr. Gabor Maté eloquently points out in a lecture how caregivers are honored in obituaries for selflessness, always being there for others and putting themselves last, and working until the last minute of their death.  In his lecture, he cautions the audience of how these individuals needed to receive care when receiving fatal diagnosis and continued to perform in caregiving roles at the expense of their health, and prioritizing others when they themselves needed support.

This is a grim and sobering observation of the caregiving spectrum.   On one end, it can have a positive and adaptive function, and on the other it can lead to maladaptive and negative consequences.

It reveals the cost and impacts caregiving may lead to when over-functioning, over giving, and not taking the time necessary to rest or recover.  Dr. Maté’s message emphasizes the importance of caregiving for the self.

Now, if you are in a role where you are providing care to another individual, the following items are signs that you might need to prioritize your own self-care:

  1. Resentment

If you find yourself resenting others who are receiving of your care, this might be a sign that you are likely over giving or over functioning.  Resentment is an important emotion that signals the body that we need something.  In some cases, both the mind and body may need physical or emotional nourishment, care, and rest.

One way to address resentment is by recognizing and understanding that we are emotional human beings who have needs.  Of course, this begins with self-awareness and listening to ourselves.  Our body, mind, and heart are talking to us all the time. Once a need is acknowledged, boundaries can be established, and needs can be expressed.

  1. Sickness and Illness

This occurs when a primary doctor or provider has pointed out the importance of taking time off, self-care, or reducing stress.  This might mean that the body needs time to recover or rest.  There is a strong correlation between inflammation, stress, and chronic illness.  In some cases, stress can exacerbate the symptoms of sickness or illness.

A way to address this is by asking for help.  Like mentioned above, it starts with recognizing what we need.  When this occurs, we might recognize that we need help and that’s okay: we are human.  This may mean that some tasks or projects need to be delegated appropriately, revised, or entirely removed.

  1. Misplaced Responsibility

This normally occurs when we feel a deep sense of responsibility for others.  Granted, there are real and valid situations where we do hold a responsibility for others’ wellbeing such as parenting or leadership roles.  However, misplaced responsibility occurs when we feel responsible for things that are truly outside of our control.  This can lead us to feeling exhausted, discouraged, and hurt.

One way to address this is by accepting both what is within and outside of our control.  Acceptance is an antidote to those things which are not within our control.  This does not mean we are giving up; however, it may mean that we can redirect our efforts in a more adaptive or helpful ways.

  1. Insatiable Expectations

No matter what we do, it feels as if it’s not enough.  As human beings we have a potential to do extraordinary things; however, if unaware it can lead individuals to over perform or overwork.  Like mentioned before, this may be due to misplaced responsibility on ourselves such as things are truly outside of our control.  This can lead us to limiting our ability to be present and enjoy the process.

A way to address this by setting realistic and achievable expectations.  To do so, we may start by prioritizing and clarifying what is truly important for us.  Ideally, the goal would be to shift our expectations from focusing on the outcomes and instead focusing on the quality of the process.  In other words, enjoying the journey.

  1. Over-Identifying with the Caregiving Role

This can occur when we confuse our identity with the caregiver role.  The self is made up from different parts, values, and life experiences.  However, in some cases either because of adverse childhood experiences or through social learning experiences we might forget who we are.  Hence, we might confuse the caregiving role as a form of identity.  Very reasonably, it might be a very important part of who we are, however, the invitation is to take into consideration that even then, it’s not all of who we are.

A way to reframe this, is to make room for other parts.  This requires awareness of ourselves: to make room for both the caregiving part of ourselves and other parts.  Hence, this may begin by exploring all our parts such as our strengths, our roots, our values, and needs.   There is more to us than the caregiving role.

In closing, caregiving is a beautiful and rewarding experience.  However, the caregiver needs love, too.  My intent is to invite the caregiver part in you to make room for inner care.  Like Maya Angelou once said, “Love liberates,” it does not confine.  Caregiving is an act of love that liberates the self to express and receive love.  In essence, my hope for you is to live the life your heart longs for.

With warmth and kindness,

Jazmine

References

A., V. D. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York (New York): Penguin Books.

Martinez, M. E. (2016). The mindbody code: how to change the beliefs that limit your health, longevity, and success. Sounds True.

SCSASmithers. (2013, March 6). When the body says no — caring for ourselves while caring for others. dr. Gabor Maté. YouTube. Retrieved August 11, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6IL8WVyMMs&t=2309s

Anxiety • By Guillermo Castañeda Sr., Professional Hypnotist 0 Comments

La Hipnosis en las Fobias

 

Las fobias son conocidas como miedos “exagerados” que pueden (y a menudo ocurre) incapacitar a quien la sufre, de tal modo que no puede llevar una vida normal.

 

Es clasificada como un trastorno de ansiedad y se refiere a situaciones, objetos o seres que en realidad no representan una amenaza real.

 

El Manual Diagnóstico y Estadístico de los Trastornos Mentales V (DSM-V) la clasifica dentro de los problemas de ansiedad.

 

Hay una serie muy grande de disparadores de las fobias, que van desde situaciones, como ocurre en la fobia social, en donde la persona no puede relacionarse efectivamente, no puede acudir a sitios donde se reúnan dos o más personas.  De hecho, pudiera llegar a presentar ataques de ansiedad, de pánico y hasta posiblemente trastornos físicos.

 

Los animales, gatos, perros, etc., y por supuesto los insectos, son uno de los motivos que, con frecuencia, llegan a provocar una fobia. Hay aproximadamente 470 tipos de fobias.

 

Es muy importante señalar que existe una diferencia muy grande entre un miedo y una fobia, en una fobia el miedo es más allá de toda proporción, impide por completo que la persona pueda acercarse de cualquier forma a la situación que la produce, logrando con ello inmovilizarla.

 

Existen varias estrategias para enfrentar el trastorno, por ejemplo, la terapia cognitivo conductual, terapias basadas en un acercamiento gradual al motivo y otras.

 

Sin embargo, la hipnosis ha demostrado una efectividad muy grande en la resolución del problema, en lo que respecta a los tiempos de recuperación la hipnosis ha demostrado que es una terapia sensiblemente más rápida, por lo que se le conoce como una terapia breve.

 

Es importante apuntar que, si bien la hipnosis es más rápida, no basta con una sesión, se requiere de cumplir con un protocolo, a fin de lograr los resultados esperados y abundo en el concepto.

 

Un sujeto en hipnosis siempre estará consciente, que la hipnosis es un estado de profunda relajación, más allá de la meditación, en donde se establece una comunicación con la mente subconsciente y se pueden reprogramar hábitos, sentimientos, conductas, emociones, y siempre con la aceptación y consentimiento de la persona.

 

Si gusta más información sobre la hipnosis, no dude en llamar nuestra oficina (915) 209- 1234.

 

Sinceramente,

Guillermo Castañeda, Hipnotista Profesional

Empathy Intimate Partner Violence Relationships • By Stepp, Ph.D., LPC, LCCC, CART, CGSC 0 Comments

Intimate Partner Violence Amongst Men

This blog is dedicated to all individuals that have been subjugated to violence, abuse, and distress within their relationships even though this blog specifies abuse towards men. Readers’ discretion is advised.

 

 

This topic is a little more distressing than others.

However, I have found that this topic is important to discuss especially for those individuals that believe there is no way out, that nobody would understand, empathize, or care for their well-being after being subjugated to some form of abuse by a partner.

 

If you have been keeping up with the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, you may have come to realize the severity of intimate partner violence—no matter what stance you take within this case—one thing is imminent, men are and can become victims of abuse by their partner.

 

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is defined as intimate partner (whether current or former) who perpetrates violence through physical, sexual, psychological, stalking, and coercive acts (Douglas & Hines, 2011; Miller & McCaw, 2019). The CDC has considered IPV to be a national and social health problem affecting thousands of people each year (Douglas & Hines, 2011).

 

Past research has concentrated on IPV amongst women, however, as time has passed, more cases on IPV amongst men have risen and have become an important focus for our society, community, and health departments.

 

In 2010, a study conducted to measure IPV, 37.3% of women have experienced some form of sexual, physical, or stalking by their partner and 30.9% of men had experienced the same by their partners (Miller & McCaw, 2019).

 

Alongside this, 23.9% of women and 13.9% of men experienced severe physical violence by their partner where medical attention was needed (Miller & McCaw, 2019).

 

As we can see through these statistics, men experience a high percentage of IPV from their partners, so why are we not talking about it more?

 

Well according to Campbell-Hawkins (2019) in her study amongst African American males who experienced IPV, some barriers for obtaining help included fear of being viewed as weak by their society, culture, and peers.

 

Men will less likely seek out help when experiencing abuse due to their community’s stigma on what being a “man” consists of.

 

However, as we have seen through the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, it does happen, and it can lead to violence, aggression and abuse.

 

Even though the stigma on men says they “should” be stronger and able to defend themselves amongst women or their partners; these toxic ideologies can perpetuate suffering in silence for men.

Let’s talk about some of the abuse and IPV men can experience from their partners.

  • Physical abuse
    • This includes hitting, slapping, scratching, shoving, pushing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, throwing things to hit the person, destruction of property.

 

  • Psychological/Emotional abuse
    • Humiliation (i.e., “you’re not man enough,” “you’re a coward,” etc…)
    • Shaming, invalidating feelings (i.e., “quit being so sensitive you’re a man.”),
    • Isolation of family friends (i.e., severe jealousy), threats (i.e., removal of children, lawful consequences, self-harm/suicide threat if left, etc…)
    • Stalking and harassing either at work, home, social media, phone calls, to family members, and so on.
    • Manipulation/coercion
    • Screaming/yelling
    • Blaming
    • Chronic infidelity

 

  • Sexual abuse (yes, men can be sexually abused by their female partner)
    • Manipulation in doing something they do not feel comfortable during intimacy.
    • Threatening their masculinity (different from toxic masculinity) if they do not engage in specific acts.
    • Inserting foreign objects into the body without their permission.

 

These are some examples of IPV amongst men.

 

However, this does not minimize the abuse women go through as well, many of these examples also apply for women and other parties.

 

For men, it is also important to be aware of these examples and seek out help. There is help for you through no judgement and unconditional positive regard.

 

Remember, you are a person and should be treated as such.

 

This isn’t just a “woman” issue, it is a man issue as well and being aware, empathetic, and active in ending IPV in general is a community, society, and individual duty.

 

If you are or have experienced some of these examples, please do not hesitate to contact the National Coalition against Domestic Violence (NCADV) 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224

 

If it is an emergency, please call 911 immediately.

 

Kindly,

 

Elda Stepp, PhD, LPC, LMHC, CART

 

References

Campbell-Hawkins, M. Y. (2019). Intimate partner violence (IPV) and help-seeking: The experiences of African American male survivors (Doctoral dissertation, Walden          University).

Douglas, E. M., & Hines, D. A. (2011). The Help Seeking Experiences of Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence: An Overlooked Population and Implications for Practice.      Journal of family violence, 26(6), 473–485. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-011-9382-4

Miller, E., & McCaw, B. (2019). Intimate partner violence. New England Journal of Medicine, 380(9), 850-857. DOI: 10.1056/NEJMra1807166.

 

 

 

 

 

Anxiety Confidence Coping • • By Zoe Olivo, MA, LPC-A Supervised by Guillermo Castañeda, LPC-S 0 Comments

Feeling Like an Imposter? The Impact of Imposter Syndrome and How to Cope with It

Feeling Like an Imposter?

The Impact of Imposter Syndrome and How to Cope with It

“I’m not good enough to be here.”

“What am I doing here?”

“Will they notice I don’t belong here and fire me?”

“I’m a fraud. Everyone will know.”

I

f you have these thoughts, chances are that you may be dealing with Imposter Syndrome. This phenomenon includes thoughts and feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that continue despite having background knowledge, experience, and accomplishments important to the position.

A person impacted by this phenomenon won’t believe they earned their success through their own merits and worry that their peers or employers will come to the same realization. Minor errors at work just reinforce this perception of yourself.

Imposter syndrome can impact anyone in any position or profession. Possible causes of Imposter Syndrome include: parental rearing or childhood environment, personality traits, current mental health status, new expectations and responsibilities, institutionalized racism, and gender bias.

Now that there is an understanding of what Imposter Syndrome is, we’re going to break-down the five types of Imposter Syndrome, the impact of Imposter Syndrome, and how to reduce the impact on your life.

The 5 Types of Imposter Syndrome

The Perfectionist

If Imposter Syndrome shows up in this type, the person may focus on how things are done to the point that perfection is expected of themselves in every area of their life. Additionally, they will not acknowledge the hard work they’ve invested and may criticize themselves for any errors, seeing them as failures.

The Natural Genius

The Natural Genius type will appear in people who spend their lives easily picking up new skills and believe new information and processes should be understood easily as well. This relates to Imposter Syndrome when they begin to have difficulty with tasks because they feel that competent people would not have any difficulty with these tasks.

The Soloist/Individualist

In this type of Imposter Syndrome, the person believes that they should be competent enough to not need help from others with tasks. If they are not able to successfully complete those tasks individually, they feel like frauds.

The Expert

This type will be observed in people who believe that they should have all the knowledge they need internally. If they are not able to answer questions or find out they were not aware of certain knowledge, they feel like failures.

The Superhero

The Superhero type often appears in people who connect competence to their capability of succeeding in every role they take on in their lives. Imposter Syndrome comes in if they are unable to successfully fulfill role demands and expectations.

This is merely an introduction to the five types of Imposter Syndrome, and we hope to elaborate on them in a future blog.

The Impact of Imposter Syndrome

            Imposter Syndrome can leave a lasting impact and overbearing burden on a person if they are not able to cope with the phenomenon. Since people are experiencing these thoughts of self-doubt and incompetence, they end up working harder than they usually would and placing higher expectations on themselves – leading to mental health issues and, ironically, poorer work performance. These thoughts of self-doubt and incompetence fuel anxiety, depression, guilt, and stress. The combination of these mental health symptoms then leads to a lack of sleep and inability to focus. If these symptoms are not worked through using effective coping skills, it can lead to other psychological and physiological symptoms.

How to Reduce the Impact of Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes our frequently used coping strategies may not work with certain phenomena, including Imposter Syndrome. There are plenty of ways to work through this self-doubt, including:

  • Discussing your feelings and thoughts with your peers, friends, coworkers, family, and mentors.
    • They may be feeling something similar and can provide insight on how they worked through the experience.
  • Recognizing your experience, knowledge, and competence.
    • It takes a lot of work to get where you are in your position or profession, and you would not have been able to get there by doing nothing.
  • Challenging your self-doubt.
    • It’s important to question whether the facts support the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself.
  • Avoid comparing yourself with others around you.
    • We are all unique in our own ways and comparing ourselves is not an accurate comparison.
  • Seek help if your symptoms worsen.
    • It can be hard to do this on our own and there is nothing wrong with needing help from a therapist, church leader, etc. to help you work through it.

Imposter Syndrome can be a difficult phenomenon to work through, especially when it feels so real and scary. However, it can be worked through if you have the right tools at your disposal. You are competent. You have the experience for the position you’re in. You’ve proved to your peers time and time again how you’re deserving of the role. Now, all you must do is allow yourself to believe it as well.

My hope for you is to see your worth in your role, profession, or position. If you would like more information, please contact our office at: (915) 209-1234.

                        Kindly,

                                 Zoe Olivo, LPC-Associate Supervised by Guillermo A. Castañeda, LPC-S

Coping Relationships Self-Care By Jazmine Silva, MS, LPC, RPT 0 Comments

After Experiencing Relationship Hurt: 5 Healing Practices

Dear Reader,

 

When we are growing up, our primary caregivers are like mirrors.  They mirror back to us how they see the world, how they see others, and see us. Their way of relating and engaging with us and others impacts how we may see the world, others, and ourselves.

When reflecting on our own childhood experiences, we need to consider our primary caregiver’s mirrors.  They hold the reflections of their own caregiver’s mirrors which provide us with glimpses of transgenerational patterns and themes that may be passed down from one generation to another.  Hence, our world-views, the way we interpret the world, hold the mirrors of our caregivers, our culture, our ancestors, and own life experiences.

Over time, we internalize at a subconscious and conscious level our identity, our beliefs, and parts of ourselves.  Early life experiences highly influence the messages we learn about ourselves and how the world works.  This basically sets our subconscious programming.  

Is the world safe? Can I trust others? Am I worthy?  Am I capable? Am I enough? 

To further analyze what may influence these beliefs, we can explore the relational and emotional injuries that can occur in families and at a cultural level.

According to Dr. Mario Martinez, there are three common relational wounds we experience as human beings: shame, abandonment, and betrayal.

In his research and work, he also outlines the antidotes to those emotional injuries such as honor for shame, commitment for abandonment, and loyalty for betrayal.

Dr. Martinez encourages readers to seek evidence of individuals in our lives who have shown honor, commitment, and loyalty to help reframe our worldview.  Now, his message is one of empowerment where, if we can identify the origin of the wounding, we can then help it heal.

Now the words relational, emotional injury and wounding are used to reflect what we experience when being shamed, betrayed or abandoned, not as actual physical injuries, but to reflect the depth and complexity of the pain.

Below, I want to outline five practices to begin or compliment the healing journey after experiencing relational hurt.

An important ethical disclaimer:  This list does not in any way shape or form endorse staying in abusive relationships.  If there is any form of abuse in the relationship, sexual, emotional, physical or forms of neglect, it must be addressed with professional help.  I will outline our community resources available in the *References section and available hotlines as well.  This list is not exhaustive and is not meant to replace any form of therapy. If you believe you or someone you know would benefit from counseling you may call our office for more information.

So, what can we do if we have experienced any form of emotional wounds?

1. We need to take care of our body first. When we have experienced any type of emotional pain, our body registers the pain.  In fact, the brain cannot tell the difference between physical and emotional pain.  Pain is pain for the brain.  Hence, taking care of our sleep, nutrition, rest, and safety are incredibly important in allowing both our body and brain to recover and heal.  We want to take care of our body with more self-care than usual. This helps increase the level of safety and reduce levels of stress.

2. We need to reflect on the stories we are telling ourselves. Our brain thrives and yearns for purpose and meaning.  When we have incomplete fragments of what happened to us, it feels uncertain and our thoughts may loop, feel stuck, or feel intrusive in efforts to make sense of things.  Granted, there are things in life that are so painful that those experiences may not have any meaning because nothing will make sense of it.  If something truly doesn’t have meaning, then that’s completely fair and okay.  Helpful practices in processing meaning are practices such as journaling, contemplating, prayer, or meditation.  These introspective practices help increase our awareness while making meaning of our own story.

3. We need to surround ourselves around safe, supporting and encouraging individuals. When we experience a relational injury, it’s as if that’s all we see.  It’s the way we feel seen and known.  In fact, it limits and narrows our perspective to any other possible positive views of ourselves.  When we nourish our mind and heart with people who believe in the best of us and want the best of us, we make room for another internal dialogue and perspective that can truly feel liberating and healing.  This may mean spending more time with a supportive friend or family member who participates in active listening, expresses compassion and provides encouragement.

4. We need to reflect on what we’ve learned from the experience. In many cases, this is where reading books, listening to podcasts, and talking to others may be helpful in better understanding situations and dynamics; although the most important learning is the one that we derive from the experience.  Learning from external sources such as books and other resources can help us name what happened.  Like Dr. Daniel Siegel says, “When we can name it, we can tame it.”  Naming things has an empowering impact since it allows us to reclaim our reality, knowing that what we went through has a name.

5. In some cases, we need professional support. If that means a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, social worker, doctor, or any individual in a professional capacity who can help us or guide us, it’s highly encouraged.  We were never meant to do life alone.  In some cases, it’s liberating to admit, “I need help.”  Mental health professionals are there to help us understand ourselves, our emotions, beliefs, boundaries, and needs.  More importantly, counseling is a process where small changes have a compound effect on our desired goals.  In the beginning change feels small and unnoticeable, but, over time, we can see how much we have evolved, healed, and grown.

In closing, there may be experiences we may be holding on to that might be impacting our present.  If there are, know that for every injury there is an antidote and a way to reclaim our life and mental and emotional energy.  My hope for you is to live the life your heart longs for.

With warmth and kindness,

Jazmine

References

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Dial 1-800-799-7233  or Text: “START” to 88788

Community Centers in El Paso, Texas 

Center Against Sexual & Family Violence: Dial 800-727-0511

La Posada Home: Dial  915-544-4595

A., V. D. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York (New York): Penguin Books.

Martinez, M. E. (2016). The mindbody code: how to change the beliefs that limit your health, longevity, and success. Sounds True.

Wolynn, M. (2017). It didn’t start with you how inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle. Penguin Books.

Emotional Wellness Growth Self-improvement By Stepp, Ph.D., LPC, LCCC, CART, CGSC 0 Comments

La Magia del Amor Interior

 

En esta escritura, los invito a buscar en sí mismos la magia, y no magia en la que se puede sacar un conejo de un sombrero o una moneda de las orejas del participante, si no una magia espiritual, magia de amor y los milagros.

 

¿Qué significa lo que digo? ¿Qué significa la magia espiritual, la magia de amor?

 

Primero propongo a que se pongan a pensaren todas las cosas que han declarado estar mal en su vida. El sentimiento de estar atrapado en un trabajo miserable, un matrimonio que no parece mejorar, en una situación solitaria, o una carrera en la que se estudió con fuerzas, pero no realizo los sueños.

 

Todos estos sentimientos son muy comunes entre la sociedad. Van a ver veces donde no sentimos que en nadas nos va bien, esto no significa que es el fin del esfuerzo. Esto solo quiere decir que estamos presenciando un cambio mágico. Desafortunadamente, no sabemos como apreciar esta magia, y pues, se nos va de las manos para no volver y después aprendemos arrepentirnos del momento perdido.

 

Así con esto, los invito aprender como cambiar nuestro sistema de vida para poder valorar esta magia espiritual en donde podemos apreciar los milagros del día tras día e incrementar nuestro estado de ánimo. Así para lograr amarnos a sí mismos.

 

El primer paso para esta magia espiritual y los milagros es aceptar que el sufrimiento es igual de importante que el amor.

 

El sufrir no es para siempre y después de este sufrimiento viene el amor y la paz. Sin el sufrimiento y el dolor interno, no sabríamos entender la verdadera belleza de nuestra humanidad. Es muy humano sentir coraje, tristezas, miedo, y felicidad. Cuando peleamos contra los sentimientos, imponemos reglas de amor.

 

¿Y qué quiere decir esto?

 

Que queremos decidir como amar cuando el amor no tiene reglas. Las reglas en el amor disminuyen la intensidad de su poder, la belleza humana, y la magia espiritual.

 

El autor Paulo Coelho explica que, -Sufrimos porque no conseguimos imponer nuestras reglas-

 

El amor interior y la magia espiritual consisten en poder amar sus sentimientos incomodos, sus sufrimientos, sus fallas, así como amamos nuestras alegrías y logros.

 

Amarnos sin condiciones, sin reglas.

 

Todos los días que aceptamos amar sin reglas, es una oportunidad para llenarnos de milagros y de la magia espiritual.

 

Los invito a poder sentir estos milagros diarios de manera humana donde valoramos lo bueno junto con lo malo, ver la vida de manera hermosa, y saber que todo es pasajero.

 

Agradecer y contemplar los días, el sol, la luna, la naturaleza, los sentidos, la familia, y el universo. Todas estas son los milagros que se nos han dado y cuando amamos, se vuelven mas intensos y mas bellos y dejamos de sufrir en un estado constante.

 

 -Los milagros pasan cuando dejamos de tratar en controlar nuestro alrededor- Paulo Coelho.

 

Amablemente,

Elda Stepp, LPC, LMHC, CART

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